Depression and Anxiety

So… given that this site has next to no readership, I have decided to occasionally use it to try and get off my chest why I am… on occasions… a complete mental case.

I have suffered from the big D word since I was about 15, high school was tough for me, the way it is for everyone. But for me… it seemed to be different. Not worse… exactly. Just different. I wasn’t bullied, I wasn’t struggling at school, I had lots of great friends (and still have most of them) but I just couldn’t be happy. This carried on, on and off for… well… forever.

Well that is until about 6 years… it got worse. Let me begin by saying I am one of the lucky ones, I have never felt the need to not be here, I have never once considered suicide, for that I consider myself very lucky.

For a lot of people with depression, for someone to say it got worse, they would probably ask what could be worse… for the answer to that I would have a one word answer… anxiety.

A few years ago, I got to a stage I couldn’t get out of it by myself anymore, I picked a horrible fight and said some horrible things to one of the most important people in my life, it was at that stage I realised I had to actually do something about it. So off to the doctors I went… I wasn’t expecting to be surprised, I had researched enough about it to be aware that I struggled with depression, but I was surprised. I was diagnosed with anxiety… this was completely alien to me. But as they talked me through the symptoms and what it could feel like… cliche I know… but she could have been talking about my life up until this point. I had never felt more lost, I honestly thought I knew what it was and that I had it under control. The truth is I did have it under control, but i didn’t know what it was, it was such a strange concept to me that physical feelings I had pretty much always had when stressed, or low, or run down, or just randomly on a Tuesday… No one else had that? Really? How did I not know this before!

Since then I have it under control about 80% of the time. I have rubbish days, and I have a few really rubbish days. But most of them are good.

I think we’re defiantly at the TMI stage for a first post on this subject so I will end it here. I would be more than happy answer questions such anyone have any there is just one thing I won’t be talking about which is my personal triggers, there is one big life event that I notice I always think about when I am having what I call my ‘mental moments’. All I will say is that it’s guilt.

I feel a bit better already, which I guess is the purpose!

Thanks to anyone who reads this

Jen

January Favourite 2015

So this is a new type of post from me… on the last day of each month I am going to post one thing that was my favourite… it could be anything! An item of clothing, a lipstick, a person, and moment… pretty much anything! So here goes for the first one…

My 2015 January favourite is…

My new name! I got married in December so I have stolen my hubs surname. There is a specific type of happiness reserved for just this situation. Every time a piece of mail comes through with my new surname on it, I giggle. Me… a Mrs… I mean it’s hilarious… I am still 7 years old, I can’t be married! When people ask… ‘How’s married life treating you?’ or ‘Is it different being married’ the changing of your surname is one profound change that you don’t take for granted. There are very few other reasons that you would do this in your life, so it does feel like something that was life changing. Is it different being married… I am not sure it should be… I was hopelessly happy before we married and I still am now. But my name… my name is now his… and that feels like something special.

Wow… rather mushy start to the year…! Sorry about that… it’s just the truth

JC x

New Year, New Name… New Posts

So… yeah… it’s been nearly 2 years nice my last post… time flies when you’re working a crazy busy job and planning a wedding! So yeah, I guess one big update would be that I got married! I will put a post up about this soon…

The main reason for this post is to say I’m back baby, the blog has had a face lift a little, the content might very well be different but watch this space… The word of the year is NEW!

Dunham Massey

So a few weeks ago I mentioned that I was going for a walk… we went to Dunham Massey in Altrincham! There are a lot of lovely National Trust places near me and this is one I hadn’t been to before. It was lovely, but I still prefer Tatton Park!

Here are some pictures anyway! I hope that you like them…

DunhamMassey3 DunhamMassey5DunhamMassey4DunhamMassey2DunhamMassey7DunhamMassey1DunhamMassey6DunhamMassey8

Yes, I did wore a tie and bright pink lipstick for a walk, and yes I REALLY need to improve my ‘jump photo’, and no, Matt wouldn’t play and just stood there!

However I hope you like them, Dunham Massey is well worth a visit, and we will give it another go in Summer!

 

Thanks for reading

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Valentines Flowers

Hello All,

This is just a quick one… The beautiful flowers Matt got me for my birthday have finally flowered so I thought I would share some pictures of them with you!

YellowRose BunchLillyWhiteRoseLillyCloseup

Lillies and Yellow Roses are my favourites so it just goes to show how well my wonderful man knows me! I am thrilled with them!

Hope they brighten up your day too!

Thanks for reading

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Birthday Wish list

Hello Everyone,

I hope you’re well, I have a been a bit busy for the past week or so and have got a few crazy things going on in my life but I wont bore you with most of it!

The big one… I am 30 next week, on Tuesday in fact… I am excited..? Erm… not exactly. However I have had some time to get used to the idea and it no longer brings me to tears at the thought of it!

Lets face it… birthdays usually bring one thing… presents!! haha. Yes I am that shallow! So here is my wish list of some things I would like at the moment…

Miss Selfridge Pink Lace Dress

Miss Selfridge
Embroidered Midi Dress
£47

I love this dress from Miss Selfridge I think it’s beautiful, the perfect mix of feminine and sexy! They do it in cream too… yes please!

Regal Rose amazonite-pendulum-necklace

Regal Rose
Amazonite Pendulum Necklace
£16

Sadly this gorgeous necklace is sold out at the moment so you cannot purchase, but I think I need this in my collection! This the first of 2 items I would like from Regal Rose and they’re both sold out (sob sob)

Missguided Evil Eye Shoe

Missguided
Evil Eye Slipper Shoes
£19.99

Oh my gosh, how gorgeous are these shoes! I love love love them! I have been buying heels lately which is rare for me, but I LOVE these! Well done Missguided!

Boohoo Tapestry Jacket

Boohoo
Boutique Grace Tapestry Trim Trophy Jacket
£45

I love this Jacket from Boohoo, I think it has a metallic thread running through it which I wouldn’t be sure about until I saw it in real life but I love the idea of it! I saw this on Nicola Claire‘s blog and just fell in love with it!

Sass and BelleRose Garland - Light Pink

Sass and Belle Pink Garland2

Sass and Belle
Rose Garland – Light Pink
£7.45

Sass and Belle will be getting a lot of my money when we finally get around to doing the second bedroom! I can see this lovely garland wrapped around a shelf! Heaven!

Regal Rose clear-crystal-pendant-necklace

Regal Rose
Clear Crystal Pendant Necklace
£17

This is the second piece from Regal Rose – again also sadly sold out at the moment! But I love love love this pendant! I need it in my life!!

And last but not least…

Boohoo Blk and White dress

Boohoo
Boutique Minnie Contrast Band Lace Prom Dress
£40

Boohoo boutique at the moment is just simply amazing, I pretty much like everything!! This dress is just amazing, if I had seen it sooner I might have bought it for one of my birthday parties, but alas, I will have to find another reason! Shame it’s too white to wear to a wedding!

So yes, that’s my current wish list, let’s be honest there are LOADS of things I want at the moment but these are towards the top of the list!

Hope you like them

Thanks for reading!

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